How it feels to be Father of the Bride before the Wedding day

So, how does it feel to be Father of the Bride before the Wedding day? The dad can easily be sidetracked as the soft hearted cash dispenser, while the Mother of the Bride gets all the fun of florist visits, make-up practice and bridal dress fittings. But, when you stop and think about it dads are heading into an event where tradition still has them handing over their Princess to another man. In modern times this can seem a little old fashioned, I know. Surely todays young bride is a strong independent being capable of surviving with out being given away or to any man? But wait… surely most dads are entitled to feel an emotional tear. And what about the speech, the dance, the credit card..?

So, you may know (probably from my Mother of the Bride duties on InstaStories) that my daughter Charlotte is getting married very soon, to a man we have all fallen for, and will, we are sure, live happily ever after. But, how is her dad doing in all this? With the wedding just a month or so away, I thought it was time to check in to see how this devoted dad was doing, to talk about his feelings and other things.

 

How Does It Feel To Be Father Of The Bride Before The Wedding Day?

 

I’ve never interviewed my husband before. Not at all surprising. It would be a bit weird if I had, our first date was probably the last time. So, I’m not sure he will play ball. I tell him to not answer correctly but sincerely instead.

 

Charlotte and you have watched ‘Father of the Bride’ countless times together. How does it feel now it’s happening to you?

Scary, but I don’t know why. I am so happy for her and I love her husband to be. But, at the end of the day, call me old fashioned but she is my daughter so I will always want to look after her. I feel like she’ll be gone, although I know that makes no sense. (I’m pleased, he’s being authentic. That’s a good start)

 

You cried when I walked down the aisle on our Wedding day, how will you avoid being too emotional walking Charlotte down the aisle?

It is unavoidable, although less unexpected than on our wedding day when I thought it would be you (it was a bit of a shock for both of us) but it was me instead. I love my family more than anything. (he has me smiling broadly)

 

How will you style out the father-daughter dance?

Free style and fun. (very worrying)

 

How It Feels To Be A Father Of The Bride Before The Wedding. Let's Talk About His Feelings.

 

You have so much to organise on the morning of the wedding while I’m getting my hair and makeup done, how will you cope without me?

I don’t know! You know that I’m a damn good multi-tasker (this fact has passed me by), but I suck at remembering things and planning (that bits true). I’m hoping that Charlotte is going to write me a schedule. But you know what they say, hope is not a strategy.

 

We’ve talked about being celebratory, not sloshed, how is your resolve?

I’ve been drunk at parties a few times, let’s say and it’s not pretty or clever. It also ends up in a very uncomfortable ‘morning after’ de-brief from the one I love (that would be me). It will be difficult as the nerves ebb and flow, but it is simply too important for Charlotte and I want her to feel proud of me. I’m looking forward to the afters drinks, when everyone has gone and we can reflect on the day and laugh and cry.

 

How is your credit card feeling?

Bloated! But actually not as much as I thought it would (he needs to take another look). Matthew and Charlotte are both very careful with money generally and not over expectant. Everyone has chipped in and I’ve always looked forward to supporting the kids at their wedding day anyhow! (cute)

We are there to celebrate their love for each other and not the drapes. (thankfully, I haven’t bought new drapes)

 

Your original speech was extraordinary, how is it coming along now?

Wow! Nice of you to say (he’s failed to pick up on my sarcasm), especially after the massive flop of draft one. Luckily, I made a good decision in preparing the speech months ahead. A rare event for me. It has meant that I have been able to relax and enjoy the run up to the wedding more, knowing that Charlotte will feel loved and proud when I stand there, without the blushes draft one would have caused! (his first speech was full of banter…!!)

I am planning a review and tweak of the speech soon. (I thought it was done – this is bringing on a hot flush)
...call me old fashioned but she is my daughter, so I will always want to look after her... Father of the Bride

Any advise for other Father of the Brides before the Wedding day?

 

That’s a tough one, because everyone is different and advising people on family matters, is a rocky road. My approach has been to focus on Charlotte and Matthew’s needs and priorities, and just be a supportive Dad.

At the same time I want to be authentic with my feelings, I don’t want to burden her with them. Charlotte has so many things to think about around the wedding as it is. Letting go of my little princess is very hard, but the celebration of her happiness with Matthew and their future life makes it a lot easier. (and that is why I married him)
*
So, that was insightful. I hadn’t realised the simmering emotions this (our) Father of the Bride had in regard to ‘losing’ his daughter. We’ve since tried to talk it out. With Charlotte currently living round the corner and popping round more often than not, it seemed daft to me that he should think he was losing her anytime soon. But my reassurance made little difference because it’s a somewhat illogical dad thing. He’ll no longer be the first man she turns too and this feels like a loss.
It seems that being a Father of the Bride before the Wedding day is emotional for some dads. It’s not as if my Andy would readily ‘share’ so I’m glad I did this interview and I’m wondering what other subject to brooch (it’s unlikely he’ll let me).
Maybe when your hubby or dad is in this role ask him this set of questions and see what comes up.

PIN!

So, how does it feel to be Father of the Bride before the Wedding day? The dad can easily be sidetracked as the soft hearted cash dispenser, while the Mother of the Bride gets all the fun of florist visits, make-up practice and bridal dress fittings. But, when you stop and think about it dads are heading into an event where tradition still has them handing over their Princess to another man. In modern times this can seem a little old fashioned, I know. Surely todays young bride is a strong independent being capable of surviving with out being given away or to any man? But wait... surely most dads are entitled to feel an emotional tear. An interview about feelings and other things...

 Other articles about midlife parenthood

Being broody for Grandchildren


 

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56 Comments

  1. January 30, 2018 / 7:54 am

    Your daughter is lucky to have such supportive caring parents. What an exciting time!
    Laurie xx

    • Maria Kelly
      January 30, 2018 / 2:29 pm

      Thank you Laurie! It is so exciting. Seeing her in love and being so well loved is wonderful xx

  2. Andy
    January 30, 2018 / 7:55 am

    I love your cheeky comments! Xxx

    • Maria Kelly
      January 30, 2018 / 2:30 pm

      haha! Did you check the bank account..? :o\ xxx

  3. January 30, 2018 / 7:57 am

    Bless. I love this. I don’t have a relationship with my father, so had my uncle give me away. There’s only ten years between us in age so there’s a special and unique relationship there. Even he cried. If our son gets married, I know that I’ll be a hot mess and my husband will be even more emotional #TriumphantTales

    • Maria Kelly
      January 30, 2018 / 2:32 pm

      Oh that sounds so special what a lovely Uncle you have! It will be so emotional for us – I think waterproof mascara is an absolute must!! xx

  4. Kelly Biden
    January 30, 2018 / 2:59 pm

    This brought a tear to my eye 😢 I had never really thought of it from my dads perspective when we got married! Very insightful and a wonderful read!! Xxx

    • Maria Kelly
      January 31, 2018 / 9:15 am

      I’m so pleased you enjoyed it Kelly. Your lovely Dad would have found the run up emotional for sure xxx

  5. January 30, 2018 / 9:31 pm

    i loved reading this post and such a great perspective!

    kileen

    • Maria Kelly
      January 31, 2018 / 9:20 am

      Thank you so much Kileen! It was quite an insight for me. I’ll be more considerate of his feelings on the day now I know what he’s feeling x

  6. January 31, 2018 / 5:24 pm

    Lovely post idea! Enjoyed very much. Wishing all the best for a lovely day x #fortheloveBLOG

    • Maria Kelly
      February 1, 2018 / 5:33 pm

      I’m so glad you did. Thanks so much x

  7. Allison Biggs
    January 31, 2018 / 6:23 pm

    Absolutely lovely family . I can’t believe Charlotte is getting married when I remember her so well from her uni days ( I was her supervisor at the bread oven ) I loved her stories I’m so happy for you all and can t wait to see the pictures xxx

    • Maria Kelly
      February 1, 2018 / 5:36 pm

      Oh my gosh – I thought I knew your name!! Charlotte was so very fond of you! Thank you so much Allison it’s so lovely to hear from you – you were so wonderful to our girl and it meant so much to us xxx

  8. February 1, 2018 / 9:32 am

    Oh this is so beautiful! I am honestly moved by this lovely interview! He seems like such a wonderfully supportive dad and I hope you all have a fab time on the big day, especially Charlotte & Matthew #ablogginggoodtime

    • Maria Kelly
      February 1, 2018 / 5:38 pm

      Thank you so much Lucy. This is such a lovely comment and I appreciate it so much xxx

  9. kathymarris
    February 1, 2018 / 10:19 am

    Aww how special. We do sometimes forget the good old Dads! I’m about to be mother of the groom this year, so I’m wondering what this will feel like. I have a very close relationship with my son so I hope that doesn’t change. #TeamLovinLife

    • Maria Kelly
      February 1, 2018 / 5:39 pm

      Congratulations to your son Kathy! Relationships ebb and flow but I’m sure you and your son will be close forever xxx

  10. February 1, 2018 / 10:58 am

    Oh, I loved this and will have to remind myself of this when the time comes for my brother to play Father of the Bride. Such a wonderful and exciting time! #teamlovinlife

    • Maria Kelly
      February 1, 2018 / 5:41 pm

      Thank you so much Deborah. It is such a special time – I’m so pleased you’ve enjoyed this post xxx

  11. February 1, 2018 / 12:47 pm

    Thank you for sharing a very different perspective. Really interesting. I hope the wedding day goes really well and that you all have a wonderful time

    • Maria Kelly
      February 1, 2018 / 5:42 pm

      Thank you so much, I’m very happy you’ve enjoyed it x

  12. Morgan Prince
    February 1, 2018 / 6:49 pm

    This is so interesting to see the dad’s side of it. Hope all goes well for your daughter. x
    #ablogginggoodtime

    • Maria Kelly
      February 2, 2018 / 7:32 am

      Thank you so much Morgan. I guess men keep their feelings to themselves a lot more than us women. But it’s all there bubbling underneath – bless x

  13. February 2, 2018 / 10:28 am

    Aww what a beautiful post idea! My hubby would definitely not play ball with an interview hahaha

    • Maria Kelly
      February 2, 2018 / 4:32 pm

      I think this may be a one off – we’ll see… haha ;O) x

  14. Jodie
    February 2, 2018 / 3:16 pm

    What a fabulous post to read this morning, Maria! Such feeling and emotions at a wonderful time in life!!
    XOXO
    Jodie

    • Maria Kelly
      February 2, 2018 / 4:35 pm

      Thank you lovely Jodie. It really is an emotional time. It’s wonderful to know your child is loved so well xx

  15. February 2, 2018 / 8:34 pm

    He sounds absolutely adorable! My husband dreams of making our girls wedding days perfect too, it must be a dad thing! Thanks so much for sharing with #Blogstravaganza xx

    • Maria Kelly
      February 3, 2018 / 7:27 am

      Thank you Zoe! I’m so pleased I asked him these questions. He’s not one for expressing himself, except when he has a cold, you know, and that’s a whole other thing..! x

  16. February 3, 2018 / 10:14 am

    I had to laugh at your husbands idea of how much his credit card has been used compared to your view, which is probably the reality. I’m mother of the groom this year, apart from handing over a large chunk of money we’ve been basically told to butt out as it’s the brides day and our input really isn’t needed, feel like we’re spending 1000’s on flights to attend as guests, no speeches needed, no roles to play, non entities really. This is the first of our 4 boys to marry. Hope your daughter has a lovely day and you and hubby can relax and enjoy yourselves once his speech is out the way #triumphanttales

    • Maria Kelly
      February 3, 2018 / 3:26 pm

      There are so many more things to spend money on than we thought! haha! He’s a big softy when it comes to Charlotte tho’ so it’s ok. I think Parents of the Groom should take a bigger role for sure! It’s quite old fashioned to think it’s only the Bride’s Parents who contribute and who have emotional input. I hope you have a wonderful day and get a very special dance with your son xx

  17. Hello BoundforSomewhere
    February 3, 2018 / 10:16 am

    What a beautiful post. I always imagined my dad would walk me down the isle and play a big part of our big day, it’s lovely to read what it could have been like. If you ever write what it’s like for a mum I would love to read it. My family refused to come to our wedding. It still my heart when I think about it. #thelistlinky

    • Maria Kelly
      February 3, 2018 / 3:32 pm

      Gosh it can get so complicated in families sometimes! I will be writing a few Mother of the Bride posts after the Wedding – they’ll be posted in the beginning of April. We celebrated our 25th Wedding Anniversary some years ago and had our grown children with us as we re-did our Wedding vows. I enjoyed it so much more than my own Wedding Day. It might not take the pain away, but it would be great to celebrate your marriage and love for your husband with those that really count… xx

  18. February 3, 2018 / 1:27 pm

    What a wonderful post! I loved his honesty and really got a feel for the emotions that you must both have. I loved your additions too 😉 I can’t begin to imagine how I’ll feel when my boys grow up and move out. My husband says that he’s looking forward to a cleaner house but I know he’ll miss them lots. Thank you for linking up with #Blogstravaganza 🙂

    • Maria Kelly
      February 3, 2018 / 3:39 pm

      I’m so chuffed to enjoyed this post Jo! I think every sage brings some loss but some advantages too. I love how when they come to visit it feels like such an occasion where we make up cocktails and cook, put music on, play with the dogs. It’ll change again no doubt when Grandchildren come haha… x

  19. February 3, 2018 / 7:13 pm

    This is so sweet, and I love your interjections too! My Dad’s speech at my wedding was one of my absolute favourite parts, I was so touched. I don’t think I ever truly considered what a huge thing it is for parents to watch their child get married though, not until I had my own children. I know when their time comes I’ll be an emotional wreck (but also looking forward to a big old party!) I hope the wedding goes fabulously – it sounds like everything is in hand! Thanks for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

    • Maria Kelly
      February 4, 2018 / 8:02 am

      Thank you so much for this lovely message Katy. You relationship with your Dad sounds so sweet. My daughter is on her hen do at the moment – I have to pinch myself that my baby is on her hen!! She was dressed as a farmyard hen on a buckerooing sheep last I saw… xx

  20. February 4, 2018 / 8:58 pm

    This is lovely and as a married woman I can honestly say that a girl always needs her dad! #Blogstravaganza

    • Maria Kelly
      February 5, 2018 / 6:29 pm

      That’s lovely to hear Jo – I’ll pass that on to my husband x

  21. February 5, 2018 / 3:15 pm

    I really love this post – thanks so much for sharing and what beautiful photographs! It must be hard ‘letting go’ I can’t imagine not being the first person my little boy comes to when he needs me. I know he’s only small at the moment but there will come a time. Damn this parenting is emotional! Beautiful post! Thanks for sharing with #TriumphantTales, hope to see you again tomorrow.

    • Maria Kelly
      February 5, 2018 / 6:46 pm

      Thank you Jaki for this wonderful comment. I think I perhaps went through everything when she left home for the last time (then she still comes to stay often!). On the day my big emotion will be one of joy and pride – she really is such a special daughter and seeing her married to lovely Matthew is deeply emotional xx

  22. February 6, 2018 / 11:30 am

    Ah I love this! I can’t imagine what it must be like and I know that when the time comes my husband is going to struggle to hand over our 2 girls to someone else. I just pray that we love their husband to be too. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

    • Maria Kelly
      February 6, 2018 / 9:06 pm

      I think you will love them at first simply because they love your child. Then you’ll get to know them, you’ll see just why your girl loves them too. I’m sure they will pick wisely Laura x

    • Maria Kelly
      February 6, 2018 / 9:14 pm

      Yes, it’s probably about time to be fair haha x

  23. mackenzieglanville
    February 7, 2018 / 11:53 am

    this is absolutely gorgeous, sounds like you have a keeper and your daughter is so blessed to have a dad who clearly adores her. I think my biggest thing is hoping if one day my 3 children decide to marry that hubby and I will love their choice in partner. My dad adores my husband, they get along so well, my mum always tells me how lucky I am, I feel she should be saying he is lucky to have me lol. It emanate the world to me that my dad walked me down the aisle, he cried when he firsts me in my wedding dress. I cried walking down the aisle and my hubby cried too, clearly we are an emotional family. Enjoy the wonderful day coming up!!!! Thanks for sharing this with us #ablogginggoodtime

    • Maria Kelly
      February 7, 2018 / 7:11 pm

      Thank you so much Mackenzie for such a heart felt comment. I must say I chuckled to myself that you all had a little cry. I think it’s lovely! I just hope hubby or I don’t sob. Sobbing is a step too far – as if we really regret the situation haha xx

  24. mackenzieglanville
    February 7, 2018 / 12:22 pm

    Congratulations, after reading all the A Blogging Good Time posts I have chosen this as my favourite. Please stop by on Thursday to grab your Featured Blogger badge for #ablogginggoodtime Love Mackenzie

    • Maria Kelly
      February 7, 2018 / 7:13 pm

      Oh I’m so delighted, I will, thank you very much!! xx

  25. February 7, 2018 / 1:39 pm

    Interesting to get the dad perspective. I am getting married this year and both my parents cried when I told them as they thought it wasn’t ever going to happen (so did I!) I will keep an eye on my dad and make sure he doesn’t get overwhelmed #sharingthebloglove

    • Maria Kelly
      February 7, 2018 / 7:18 pm

      Oh congratulations!! I’m sure your Parents will be emotional on the day! The men are often the tricky ones, because they don’t express things often until they bubble over. I’m hoping to get my game face on – but there again I might sit there with a wobbling lip and mascara down my cheeks. It’s odd really because it’s such a happy occasion! Good luck with your wedding lovely, I look forward to seeing all about it on your blog x

  26. February 8, 2018 / 2:49 pm

    Hi, this was a refreshing change to read a post from a dads point of view #shatethebloglove

    • Maria Kelly
      February 10, 2018 / 9:22 am

      Glad you liked it! x

  27. February 12, 2018 / 6:07 pm

    It’s lovely that he has answered the questions letting us in on how he’s feeling. #SharingtheBlogLove

    • Maria Kelly
      February 13, 2018 / 8:12 am

      I’m not sure how much choice he felt like he had haha! But yes, it was great to get him to open up and explain what he’s going through. A father-daughter relationship is a special one x

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