How to get through hard times in life

The first thing to understand is that everybody will be going through hard times in life, whether it’s in a relationship, our heath, work or something else, sooner or later. It’s what we do about it that can change our chances of finding happiness. The second thing to understand is that we need to take responsibility and control, allowing ourselves to sink or swim. The third thing to understand is that hardships give us an opportunity to learn and grow.

This article discusses how to get through hard times in life, what it takes to find our happiness and how it makes us stronger. There are some quotes to inspire, to remind you that you are not alone.

 

How To Get Through Hard Times. A Guide.

Ignoring the pain

After the initial pain has lost it’s sting we need to face the damage it is doing to ourselves. But, to reach the benefits of a greater and stronger self, we must manage, somehow, to get through to the other side. Otherwise carrying the burden of hardships will make us feel depleted and leave us wanting to run from our own selves.

Every adversity carries the chance of a greater and stronger you.

However, until we see the benefits, the pain just feels pointless and damaging.

Ignoring the pain will allow it to manifest as anger, mood swings and outbursts.

It is important to take time to understand the position and your position within it, but many people are afraid of facing the real truths and our own deep feelings.

 

Why is pain necessary?

Most of us consider pain to be something evil and harmful, but it is a necessary part of being. We need to feel pain – it is designed to wake us up!

Science has shown that challenges stimulate the brains cell growth, which means we become more more resilient and able to cope better.

Do not let the pain in life make you hopeless.

When things don’t go your way, pain is part of your reality – it’s part of you – if you hide or feel ashamed of the pain you have you are being dishonest about your own reality.

So, carry your pain as you would carry your good sense. Own your own scars, because they show you have dealt  with the harshness of life and made you become a stronger, truer and wiser version of yourself.

 

It’s okay to have down days

It is okay to have down days. As they say, you can’t expect to have the rainbow without the rain.

The trick is to except that life is imperfect and be happy with that. An imperfect life is still amazing! Never treat it casually.

Take pride in the fact that you still know the world is beautiful.

 

Life is Difficult

When times are tough we must become tougher. Don’t expect life to be easy, it isn’t, just hope for the strength to deal with the tough times and come out the other side greater.

It is by dealing with life’s difficulties that we build some valuable strengths and so we become more capable and more resilient.

 

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The first thing to understand is that everybody will be going through hard times in life, whether it's in a relationship, our heath, work or something else, sooner or later. It's what we do about it that can change our chances of finding happiness. The second thing to understand is that we need to take responsibility and control, allowing ourselves to sink or swim. The third thing to understand is that hardships give us an opportunity to learn and grow. This article discusses how to get through hard times in life, what it takes to find our happiness and how it makes us stronger. There are some quotes to inspire, to remind you that you are not alone.

 

Fear

Fear is a tremendously negative force when you allow it to overwhelm and defeat you. Fear can often come from a lack of control.

But just remember that fear is the only emotion that motivates us to learn to be more brave.

By being brave we gain more experience. So, experience is something we get when life doesn’t go to plan, but we find the courage to push through, gaining well earned wisdom en-route.

By taking control and facing fear, we gain an upper hand – new knowledge and experience. Tools that will help us deal with the rest of our lives.

 

Take responsibility

Try not to blame others for what we are going through – take responsibility. As soon as we stop making others responsible for our happiness, or lack of it, the happier we will be.

Ultimately it depends on our self reliance – our ability to move forward no matter who else is involved in making it how it is today.

By taking control of the here and now, by thinking for ourselves, we can stop being the victim and instead be the savour of our own life.

Just remember, it’s all well and good working towards the ideal tomorrow, but happiness relies on our dealing with today successfully.

 

You do not need validating

Stop looking for validation from others. We are not here to live up to the ideals of others, nor are they here to live up to ours. Everyone is an individual who should be allowed to seek happiness in their own unique ways.

The trick is to believe in yourself, whether your successes are loud or quiet, flamboyant or real. It is up to each individual to define their own success.

 

How to find your happiness

You may have decided that you are not where or living how you should be. That is fine, use that to make changes. But to be happy, you must also appreciate how lucky you are. Switch your mindset into all the blessings around you

Don't let the past or future steal your happiness.

Making great changes take time, so it is important to take joy in each step it takes to get there.

 

You are not alone

WE ARE ALL STRUGGLING.

Many people will be struggling in the same way as you. So, do not dwell on your hardship, using all that energy feeling embarrassed or alone, there are always others who can relate to you.

And if they can’t? Don’t be pained by their lack of understanding, be glad for them. They will have struggles of their own.

Challenges and hard times are a part of everyones life, and while they may not always make us better people, they will make us stronger.

You will probably find, the most well-rounded people you know are the ones who have experienced hardships. They have gained appreciation, sensitivity, compassion, boldness, a deeper awareness, strength of character and a hard earned wisdom.

People aren’t born this way. These traits are like medals, received after surviving life’s battles.

 

In the end…

So, how do we cope when our world come crashing down? You have a choice – you could give in to negative thoughts and spiral out of control or you could motivate yourself to make a better life.

Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness.

If you are in pain and you remain stagnant, these feelings will stay with you. You need to move away from feeling that life is unfair. Yes, it can be. So, what are you going to do?

How have you got through hard times in your life? Let’s keep talking in the comments x

 

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The first thing to understand is that everybody will be going through hard times in life, whether it's in a relationship, our heath, work or something else, sooner or later. It's what we do about it that can change our chances of finding happiness. The second thing to understand is that we need to take responsibility and control, allowing ourselves to sink or swim. The third thing to understand is that hardships give us an opportunity to learn and grow. This article discusses how to get through hard times in life, what it takes to find our happiness and how it makes us stronger. There are some quotes to inspire...

 

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26 Comments - Write a Comment

  1. A very touching and deep thoughtful! I’m sure this will help many people out there, who face pain and loss in many different situation. Very well written honey xxx

    Nelson Mandela said “I never win or lose, I win or learn”

  2. It’s true, we all fight our own battles and this is great advice to read for whatever you’re facing, big or small. So often I’m amazed at what some people overcome and deal with in their lives, but I think the reality is that you have that choice – curl up and wallow, or deal with it in the best way you can. You get through it because you have to. I think your point about looking for validation from others has always been something I’ve struggled with at different times in my life, and it tends to be when things are going wrong that I look for it more, so that reminder is really powerful. Thank you for joining us again at #SharingtheBlogLove

    1. Thanks so much for your thoughts – I think it’s so important to realise that none of us are the finished article. No sooner do we cope with one situation, then another will challenge us! And we all have sticking points – wanting validation is yours, mine is feeling a failure if (when) I have a bad day. But at least we know ourselves in this way, so we can battle through once again! Thank you so much for your thoughts x

  3. This is a really good post, I agree with every single point. It’s so true that ignoring pain will inevitably make things worse. Dealing with pain properly and giving ourselves time to adjust is so important. Thanks so much for sharing with #Blogstravaganza xx

  4. These are great tips! When you’re feeling low it can often be so hard to pick yourself back up. I always remind myself that the hard times are just there to make us appreciate the good times so much more! Thanks for linking up to #Blogstravaganza

  5. Love this. It normalises life struggles. I think we are obsessed with trying to have happy lives all the time, then when things get rough we struggle. A friend always “and this too will pass”. We shouldn’t worry about being happy all the time, or we then put too much pressure on ourselves. Thanks for sharing. #Blogstravaganza

    1. Thank you so much for leaving this message Matthew. I agree what you friend says because if things don’t alter, they change and struggling with those changes is to be human x

  6. Really loved this! I find that once I can recognise I’m in a dark place with lots of negative thoughts I can pull myself out of them, but it’s stopping myself from getting to that place in the first place by seeing the good and positive in what is thrown at me. I’m terrible for looking for validation and this is definitely my area to work on or accept this is me. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

    1. I think you have echoed many comments here – it seems that validation is something many of us would like to have. I also think that it’s only human to have bad days when we sink into, as you say, a ‘dark place’. It’s a wonderful thing to be able to find the positives before too much time has passed. x

  7. Such a comforting post. I think people tend to put on a ‘brave front’ but it is actually far braver and more effective to embrace the bad times, see what they can teach you and then power through. There’s always something to gain from the heartache then! Thank you for joining the #HoneybeeLinky, hope to see you again next week! Xxx

    1. I’m so glad you’ve found this post comforting, Lucy. It sounds a little pessimistic to say but, we might as well learn to get through hard times, because they are gonna keep coming! The worst outcome would be to get suck in the negative xx

  8. Great, encouraging post. We all have struggles, it’s how you deal with them that matter. Thanks for sharing this at #TriumphantTales. Hope to see you again on Tuesday.

    1. Thank you Jaki, I’m so glad you’ve found this post encouraging. Yes, everyone has struggles so learning how to deal with them is so important.x

  9. This is such a wonderful post Maria, thank you. Unfortunately any valuable lessons learned in life seem to come with pain built in. My sharpest, most vivid lessons have come from the unspeakable, life changing pain of bereavement and from being betrayed by people (long term, 20+ years, friends) I trusted too much. The best we can do when faced with pain that feels so unbearable, so overwhelming, is to be as kind to ourselves as we would be to a loved one. It takes time to re-adjust so we have to allow ourselves that time.

    There is a wonderful poem by Robert Browning Hamilton that makes me cry whenever I read it but I love it because it’s so true.

    I walked a mile with pleasure
    She chatted all the way
    But ne’re a thing I learned from her
    For all she had to say.

    I walked a mile with sorrow
    And ne’re a word said she
    But oh the things I learned from her
    When Sorrow walked with me.

    Thank you for your beautiful post Maria, I’m off to pin, G+ & tweet. Sending you heaps of hugs and hopes for a wonderful weekend, hugs xx

    1. Oh Rosie, I’m so sorry to hear you have gone through so much. You’re warmth always comes through and your words here are so wise. Thank you for sharing the poem, it really rings true. Sending hugs back to you xx

      1. Oh bless you dear Maria, you’re so sweet, but we all go through these things eventually. We all unfortunately lose loved ones, I’ve lost my own parents and also my adored Mum & Dad in law. I consider myself blessed to have had them in my life and to have had the opportunity to love them as much as I do. The pain from my (very) toxic ex friends was my responsibility alone though. I tolerated their bullying, name calling and other nastiness for too many years and if I’d loved myself even a fraction as much as I loved them, I could have dealt with the situation differently, maybe.

        The lesson I think is to love our loved ones, and never miss a chance to be able to tell them you love them, while we can and to be very mindful of what we tolerate. It’s not OK for anyone, even long time friends, to make us feel anxious, or to think less of ourselves. It’s not OK for anyone to take your smile away or to upset you. We shouldn’t ever tolerate that. Anyone can have a bad day but if someone repeatedly makes us feel “less than” well that’s a toxic influence that’s simply not needed in our lives. We accept the love we think we deserve. We need to be kind in our dealings with the world but we also need to make sure we’re kind to ourselves too I think. Sending you mountains of hugs Maria and hopes for a wonderful week, huggles xxx

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