The first thing to understand is that everybody will be going through hard times in life, whether it’s in a relationship, our heath, work or something else, sooner or later. It’s what we do about it that can change our chances of finding happiness. The second thing to understand is that we need to take responsibility and control, allowing ourselves to sink or swim. The third thing to understand is that hardships give us an opportunity to learn and grow.
This article discusses how to get through hard times in life, what it takes to find our happiness and how it makes us stronger. There are some quotes to inspire, to remind you that you are not alone.
Ignoring the pain
After the initial pain has lost it’s sting we need to face the damage it is doing to ourselves. But, to reach the benefits of a greater and stronger self, we must manage, somehow, to get through to the other side. Otherwise carrying the burden of hardships will make us feel depleted and leave us wanting to run from our own selves.
However, until we see the benefits, the pain just feels pointless and damaging.
Ignoring the pain will allow it to manifest as anger, mood swings and outbursts.
It is important to take time to understand the position and your position within it, but many people are afraid of facing the real truths and our own deep feelings.
Why is pain necessary?
Most of us consider pain to be something evil and harmful, but it is a necessary part of being. We need to feel pain – it is designed to wake us up!
Science has shown that challenges stimulate the brains cell growth, which means we become more more resilient and able to cope better.
When things don’t go your way, pain is part of your reality – it’s part of you – if you hide or feel ashamed of the pain you have you are being dishonest about your own reality.
So, carry your pain as you would carry your good sense. Own your own scars, because they show you have dealt with the harshness of life and made you become a stronger, truer and wiser version of yourself.
It’s okay to have down days
It is okay to have down days. As they say, you can’t expect to have the rainbow without the rain.
The trick is to except that life is imperfect and be happy with that. An imperfect life is still amazing! Never treat it casually.
Life is Difficult
When times are tough we must become tougher. Don’t expect life to be easy, it isn’t, just hope for the strength to deal with the tough times and come out the other side greater.
It is by dealing with life’s difficulties that we build some valuable strengths and so we become more capable and more resilient.
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Fear is a tremendously negative force when you allow it to overwhelm and defeat you. Fear can often come from a lack of control.
But just remember that fear is the only emotion that motivates us to learn to be more brave.
By being brave we gain more experience. So, experience is something we get when life doesn’t go to plan, but we find the courage to push through, gaining well earned wisdom en-route.
By taking control and facing fear, we gain an upper hand – new knowledge and experience. Tools that will help us deal with the rest of our lives.
Try not to blame others for what we are going through – take responsibility. As soon as we stop making others responsible for our happiness, or lack of it, the happier we will be.
Ultimately it depends on our self reliance – our ability to move forward no matter who else is involved in making it how it is today.
By taking control of the here and now, by thinking for ourselves, we can stop being the victim and instead be the savour of our own life.
Just remember, it’s all well and good working towards the ideal tomorrow, but happiness relies on our dealing with today successfully.
You do not need validating
Stop looking for validation from others. We are not here to live up to the ideals of others, nor are they here to live up to ours. Everyone is an individual who should be allowed to seek happiness in their own unique ways.
The trick is to believe in yourself, whether your successes are loud or quiet, flamboyant or real. It is up to each individual to define their own success.
How to find your happiness
You may have decided that you are not where or living how you should be. That is fine, use that to make changes. But to be happy, you must also appreciate how lucky you are. Switch your mindset into all the blessings around you
Making great changes take time, so it is important to take joy in each step it takes to get there.
You are not alone
WE ARE ALL STRUGGLING.
Many people will be struggling in the same way as you. So, do not dwell on your hardship, using all that energy feeling embarrassed or alone, there are always others who can relate to you.
And if they can’t? Don’t be pained by their lack of understanding, be glad for them. They will have struggles of their own.
Challenges and hard times are a part of everyones life, and while they may not always make us better people, they will make us stronger.
You will probably find, the most well-rounded people you know are the ones who have experienced hardships. They have gained appreciation, sensitivity, compassion, boldness, a deeper awareness, strength of character and a hard earned wisdom.
People aren’t born this way. These traits are like medals, received after surviving life’s battles.
In the end…
So, how do we cope when our world come crashing down? You have a choice – you could give in to negative thoughts and spiral out of control or you could motivate yourself to make a better life.
If you are in pain and you remain stagnant, these feelings will stay with you. You need to move away from feeling that life is unfair. Yes, it can be. So, what are you going to do?
How have you got through hard times in your life? Let’s keep talking in the comments x
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