What kind of woman are you when life sucks, would you make lemonade or limoncello? I’ve always thought that if life gave me lemons I’d not only make lemonade, but a lovely moist lemon drizzle cake as well. And why wouldn’t you wash it all down with a shot of limoncello? After all, if the worst life can throw at you is some beautiful fresh citrus fruit, it really can’t be that bad, can it..?
Occasionally life can really throw us off. When something unexpected happens that is truly sour, when life sucks so bad that your life will never quite be the same again What would you do?
A lemonade kinda gal, would get busy and productive. She’d invite all her most supportive friends around with their children and grandchildren. She’d laugh and cry it out, while the kids run around high on sugar. She’d find strength in the loved ones around her who nod their heads and hold her hand.
A lemon drizzle cake woman would be living off nervous energy. The only thing she can (just about) concentrate on is the baking going on between her hands, mainly through muscle memory, as she beats, whips and eats off the spoon with gulping sobs. This women wants to deal with her grief alone. Eventually when the cake is baked, she’ll pick off little chunks.
The limoncello female, well she needs a bit of numbing. To be transformed to another elevated height where she feels a little calmer, a little perkier and, as long as she stops there, a little bit more sane. She may want to party or she may want to box set. Either way, for that time, it has to be limoncello.
I’ve discovered that when my life really sucks, I can be all of these women. They have hit me at different times, much like a transition curve…
The lemonade stage is a little like the shock and denial stage. When you see how much your life sucks, but you haven’t quite assimilated it yet. You can talk about it, you can even cry a little. But, you are still a little numb. It hasn’t begun to sink in.
The lemon drizzle stage is that frustrating stage when you now know your life has to change, but right now the thought of dealing with that change just makes you want to eat cake. Comfort food compensating for uncomfortable thoughts.
The limoncello stage. Well that is when you are facing the future, but you need a little help to let go of past. That comfortable set of attitudes and behaviours that once fitted you so well and was such a lovely companion to you, is no longer fit for purpose.
After that, as you recover a little and you’ve gained a little energy, you try to do things differently. This is the ‘throwing the damn lemons’ stage. This is a consequence of fresh anger and frustration that builds up as you turn to face an uncomfortable reality and it’s difficult changes.
The last stage where lemons play a role, is when you’re searching for meaning. ‘What came first the pip or the lemon?’. Once you’ve internalised your situation and all these previous stages, you should start to feel better.
So I’m told. All I can say right now, is duck!!